Oi

I think I'm getting too loud and abrasive again. :( I always wake up the next day and go "god everyone thinks I'm a jerk" and I don't know what to do about it really except try to modify my behavior... but then I end up feeling like a jerk again later. I was sort of hoping being too loud wasn't a habit, but hey.

Also got that feeling again when it was snowing outside that I could keep walking forever and then sit down and then lie down and then probably die, and nobody would miss me.

And then I think, "No, that's a lie. People would miss me," and then I think "but I wouldn't."